Remember that time you were really skinny?
Remember that time you were really skinny? No? Hmmm…
Is it because you never actually realised that dream? Or because you only had it for a second before it was stolen from you by an onslaught of consecutive binges?
I used to diet like a hard core lunatic, reach my “goal weight”, then proceeded to binge in a delusional sugar stupor believing that “I had arrived” and now that I was “skinny” I could “eat whatever I wanted”.
But were ice cream sundaes what I wanted? Or did I just want the way ice cream sundaes made me feel?
Special. Sweet. Happy.
Yes. I wanted happiness. We’re wired for it. And months of Rambo style dieting had certainly robo-vacuumed my soul clean of the final few crumbs of ‘happy’.
I wanted to feel special. The way I felt when I was five years old and my Mum rewarded me with jelly beans for not subjecting her to my weekly supermarket tantrums. And I wanted sweetness. Not necessarily as a flavour, but as a condiment for my life. Why? Because my life was nuttier than a Christmas fruit cake!
After my husband of twenty-five years decided he “didn’t love me anymore” and we were “through”, I felt lost. So I ate. I ate A LOT.
I ate so much I gained two dress sizes in a few short weeks and suddenly the pain of my sh*tty life seemed minor compared to the fact that my once loose Lorna Jane leggings could now only be used as finger gloves!
So what did I do?… ONE THING. I decided to get comfortable with the pain. Call me crazy, but Prince Charming riding off into the sunset on his Harley Davidson? Best thing that ever happened to me. Because he left me with a gift.
The gift of decision.
I had to DECIDE, right then and there, if was I going to drown in a sea of fluffy white lamingtons or would I rise to the top of my game and be the woman I knew I had the potential to become.
Strong. Independent. In touch with her emotions and her body.
But above all…
Not afraid to be me.
Not afraid to feel my feelings.
And not afraid to say ‘yes’ to the things I wanted to say yes to and ‘no’ to the things I didn’t.
So I chose the latter. Why?
Because if I can only share one message with you, I want you to know that you are NORMAL. There’s nothing “wrong” with you and you don’t have an eating disorder. What you have, is a very well practiced coping mechanism for your life.
In a world full of problems and a billion dollar diet industry selling to your insecurities, the only thing that surprises me is that you actually are surprised by the need to run from reality like an abandoned fun sized Snickers bar that made its break for freedom but ended up squished between the cushions of the couch.
But, I want you to know that you CAN overcome emotional eating. How do I know? Because if I can do it, after thirty years of knock-your-socks off dieting, meal replacement shakes, obsessive exercise and one heck of a sugar addiction… you can DEFINITELY do it.
Just trust. Take the first step. And know that whatever you are faced with today….
You’ll be okay.
P.S. Ditch the Diet Bootcamp is coming! The first round for 2018 is on the way and it’s bigger and bad-assier than ever! If you’re SOOO DONE with spending all day thinking about the food you’d like to eat, and how to avoid eating it… this is the sign you’ve been waiting for. Stay tuned. More freakin, life changing deets coming you way soon!
Oodles of chocolate coated love!
Now, I’d loooove to hear from you! How much of your life have you WASTED obsessing over this ‘thing’ with food and what would you do if you never had to stress about it again? Join the conversation below and remember, people come here for inspiration and direction, so let’s support each other!
Pssst… want to know how I started to find my way out of the emotional eating black forest (cake)? CLICK HERE to get my hottest secrets.