The truth about yourself that you don’t want to face
Ever heard that saying “you can run but you can’t hide?”
Well that’s what it’s like living inside the head of a person who is suffering with chronic anxiety, depression and hating their life, their body or their weight.
You try to do all the “right” things. But it doesn’t work.
You follow the formula. Eat this. Drink that. Weigh. Measure. Push through. And from the outside looking in, it really does appear as though you’ve got it all going on…
A successful life. Relationship. Career. Geez, woman… what could you POSSIBLY be unhappy about?
Nothing, I guess? And yet… You’re sad. You’re tired. You’re so DONE with the constant voices in your head telling you, you’ll NEVER win. Success is for other people. Not for you.
Maybe you should try just one more diet? Yes. This time it’s bound to work. Isn’t it?
The anxiety begins to build. Another diet. Tomorrow. Which means your last chance to eat anything even remotely delicious is… yup, you guessed it. Now.
You desperately search the kitchen for relief. Cupboard doors open and slam shut again as you look for something, anything, to take the emotional pain away.
And then… Cookies! Jackpot!
You eat them standing up. First one. Then another. You can feel the guilt rising inside you.
“Stop now” the voice of reason whispers. “If you stop now, the damage won’t be too bad. You haven’t gone too far. You’ll be okay”.
And so you do. Stop, that is. Until the voice of anxiety takes over. “You silly, little girl. Look at what you did. All that hard work, RUINED by those cookies! You’re pathetic, you know that? PATHETIC! You might as well finish the cookies and, seeing as I’m looking out for you, remember that chocolate that you hid in your sock drawer? You should eat that as well, because… you know, that way it won’t be there to ruin your progress tomorrow.”
Ah, yes… tomorrow. The magical fantasy land where you have willpower of steel and junk food can never tempt you again. Yes. You should definitely eat the chocolate. And the packet of chips. And that bread. In fact, seeing as you’ll be getting it perfect TOMORROW, you should finish up that yoghurt as well.
I think you know how the story unfolds from here. Let’s just say, it’s not pretty.
Living a double life is hard. Faithful to the salad bar by day. Secret liaisons with pizza at night.
It hurts. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. IT HURTS. And yet, despite your years of constant dieting, nothing has changed.
Because, beautiful one, your body knows that there are no quick fixes and it’s trying to get a message to you.
It’s not about the food. It was NEVER about the food.
It was, is and will always be about YOU. The voice in your head. Your deepest hurts. Fears. Dreams. ALL of it is driving your relationship with food.
So let me ask you… How much longer are you going to suffer?
How much longer are you going to torture yourself with iceberg lettuce and meal replacement shakes by day and eating until your stomach hurts at night?
It’s not another cleanse or 28 Day Challenge that will set you free.
As Glinda the Good Witch says, “You’ve always had the power, my dear”. You just falsely believed that stuffing your face with Doritos was a better option than exploring the possibility that maybe, just MAYBE, it was never about becoming someone NEW, as much as it was about returning to who you’ve always BEEN.
Sending you big love!
P.S. If there’s one thing I know from losing and gaining the same 20 kilos over 20 times in my life, it’s that when it comes to breaking up with emotional eating and losing weight, you have to keep your eye on the ball
(Unless that ball looks like a peanut M&M, in which case you should look away immediately)
Success in any area of life requires guidance and accountability.
You have to know WHY you’re sabotaging your results before you can CHANGE them.
Eventually you have to stop blaming your lack of time, your stressful life or your lack of self control and realise that those ridiculous story you’re telling yourself about how you’re REALLY going to lose weight starting “next Monday” is not the same as actually DOING IT.